Day #12 POOF! ... LIKE FLASH PAPER

09/12/09
Rebecca:
Ernest: 207.5 lbs / 94.12 kgs
I started this journey over ten days ago and thought by now I surely would have feelings of regret, some second thoughts or cravings of some kind for junk food or other kinds of food that I have turned away from for now and maybe forever. Nothing ... all I feel is determination. I have a goal of 170 lbs and I am bound and determined (there's that word again) to do whatever I have to do to reach that goal. 170 lbs is only 50 lbs less than what I weighed on 09/01/09 and I think it is a reasonable one to set. After that, I can set a new goal ... maybe my ideal weight of 160 lbs ... or 50 pushups ... whichever comes first ... but I digress. Maybe the lack of feelings other than this over-powering feeling of determination has something to do with it. I am tired of being an overweight and unhealthy person and have finally decided to do something about it once and for all. I know that only I can make a difference. I know in my mind that ... "If it is going to be ... it is up to me". Anyway, "Life is a bitch ... then you die." I have always liked those two quotes and I laughed inside when I thought about the days after my demise when I am finally cremated ... the way I have chosen for my family to deal with my mortal remains. When I am placed in the furnace by some stranger for cremation and the switch is thrown, I think my body is going to burn like piece of flash paper... POOF! ... After that, if my ashes are disposed of hither an yon in the manner that I have asked, I will litterly be blowing in the wind and will only be a memory for those that wish to remember. MTLHMOMS!